Why “No” Is a Powerful Word in Your Job Search
Part 2 of 10 | Inspired by Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
Published by Open to Work Now
If you’ve been job searching for any length of time, you’ve probably been told to “stay positive,” “follow up,” or “get to yes.”
But in Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss flips that idea upside down. His message? “No” is actually where real conversations begin.
When you stop fearing “no,” and start using it strategically, you take control of your job search—not just emotionally, but tactically.
Let’s break down how “no” can work for you—whether you’re negotiating an offer, sending outreach messages, or trying to get honest feedback.
“Yes” Can Be Dangerous
Voss explains that people often say “yes” just to end a conversation—not because they actually agree. In job searching, this might look like:
A recruiter saying “We’ll be in touch soon” (but ghosting)
A networking contact saying “Sure, happy to help!” (but not responding to your follow-up)
A hiring manager saying “Sounds good” (without intention to move forward)
“Yes” doesn’t always mean yes. Sometimes, it just means “please stop asking.”
“No” Creates Safety and Control
When people say “no,” they feel more in control. It’s a boundary-setting word—and that’s actually a good thing.
You can use “no” to build trust and encourage real answers in your job search by asking no-oriented questions.
How to Use No-Oriented Questions in Job Search Emails or Outreach
Instead of:
“Do you have a few minutes to connect this week?”
Try:
“Would it be a bad idea to connect for a quick call next week?”
or
“Is now a bad time to reach out about roles on your team?”
These questions are easier to say yes to because they allow the other person to feel in control. And ironically, that makes them more likely to engage.
How to Use “No” to Get Real Feedback After a Rejection
Instead of:
“Could you share why I wasn’t selected?”
Try:
“Would it be unreasonable to ask for feedback on where my application may have fallen short?”
You’re giving the other person an “out,” and that lowers their defenses. You may still get a vague answer—but you’re far more likely to get something usable.
How to Use “No” in Offer Negotiations Without Seeming Difficult
Imagine you receive an offer that’s lower than expected. Instead of countering with a number right away, try:
“Is it out of the question to revisit the base salary based on market benchmarks?”
or
“Would it be unreasonable to ask if there’s flexibility on benefits or PTO instead?”
It’s calm. It’s professional. And it opens the door to real conversation—without the pressure.
Final Thought: “No” Isn’t the End. It’s the Beginning.
When you stop chasing “yes” and start using “no” to guide the dialogue, you shift the power dynamic. You become a partner in the conversation—not someone just hoping for approval.
In a job search, hearing “no” doesn’t mean you failed. It means you asked. And that matters more than you think.
Next Up: How to Use Mirroring in Interviews to Build Instant Rapport
Part 3 in our Never Split the Difference for Job Seekers series.
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